So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
