just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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