She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
