is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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