What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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