I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
