I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
