I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
