I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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