Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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