a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
