My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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