it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
