im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
