was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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