but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
