We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
