It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
