this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
