this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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