I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
