I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
