How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
