..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
