quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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