hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
