Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
