if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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