bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
