I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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