I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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