went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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