hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
