Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
