is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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