Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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