I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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