Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
