with your own penis?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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