do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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