found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
