U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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