first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
