I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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