But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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