? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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