end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
It's Friday. Sex?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
