Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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