I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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