the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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