at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
